Politeness and Keigo

🎭 The Secret Language of Respect: Mastering Japanese Politeness

A Story of Words That Bow

Imagine you walk into a magical kingdom where words can actually bow to people! In Japanese, this is real. The way you speak changes depending on who you’re talking to—like putting on different outfits for different occasions.

Think of Japanese politeness like a volume dial on respect. You can turn it up (very formal) or down (casual), and knowing when to adjust this dial is the key to speaking Japanese like a native.

🎚️ The Respect Dial: Understanding Speech Levels

graph TD
    A["💬 Japanese Speech"] --> B["Casual<br>友達と"]
    A --> C["Polite<br>丁寧語"]
    A --> D["Honorific<br>尊敬語"]
    A --> E["Humble<br>謙譲語"]
    B --> F["👫 Friends"]
    C --> G["👥 Strangers/Work"]
    D --> H["👑 Elevate Others"]
    E --> I["🙇 Lower Yourself"]

📖 Part 1: Polite Speech (丁寧語 - Teineigo)

The “Nice Clothes” of Japanese

Teineigo is like wearing your nice school clothes instead of pajamas. It’s the first step up from casual speech—clean, respectful, and safe to use with almost anyone.

The Magic Word: です (desu) and ます (masu)

Think of です and ます as magic words that add politeness to any sentence. They’re like saying “please” and “thank you” baked right into how you speak!

Simple Example:

When to Use Teineigo

✅ Meeting someone for the first time ✅ Talking to teachers, bosses, older people ✅ Customer service situations ✅ When you’re not sure—default to polite!

Real-Life Scenario

At a coffee shop:

• ❌ Casual: コーヒー、ある？ (Kōhī, aru?) - “Coffee, got any?”
• ✅ Polite: コーヒーはありますか？ (Kōhī wa arimasu ka?) - “Do you have coffee?”

💡 Pro Tip: When in doubt, use です/ます. It’s never wrong to be polite!

📖 Part 2: Casual Speech (タメ口 - Tameguchi)

The “Pajama Talk” of Japanese

Casual speech is how you talk with close friends and family—comfortable, relaxed, like wearing your favorite pajamas at home!

How Casual Speech Works

You simply drop the です and ます endings:

Casual Sentence Endings

Casual speech has special endings that add feeling:

• ね (ne) - “right?” / seeking agreement

  • いい天気だね！(Ii tenki da ne!) - “Nice weather, right!”

• よ (yo) - emphasis / telling someone something new

  • 美味しいよ！(Oishii yo!) - “It’s delicious, you know!”

• の (no) - asking/explaining (soft, often feminine)

  • 何してるの？(Nani shiteru no?) - “What are you doing?”

⚠️ Warning: Know Your Audience!

graph TD
    A["Who are you talking to?"] --> B{Close friend<br>or family?}
    B -->|Yes| C["✅ Casual OK!"]
    B -->|No| D{Same age,<br>relaxed setting?}
    D -->|Yes| E["⚡ Maybe casual"]
    D -->|No| F["❌ Stay polite!"]

Never use casual speech with:

• Your boss or teacher
• Strangers
• Customers
• People clearly older than you

📖 Part 3: Formal vs Informal Register

The Outfit Analogy

Think of it this way:

Key Differences

Informal (友達言葉 - Tomodachi kotoba):

これ、すごいね！
(Kore, sugoi ne!)
"This is amazing, right!"

Polite/Neutral:

これはすごいですね。
(Kore wa sugoi desu ne.)
"This is quite amazing, isn't it."

Formal (敬語 - Keigo):

こちらは素晴らしいですね。
(Kochira wa subarashii desu ne.)
"This is wonderful, is it not."

Quick Reference: Word Upgrades

📖 Part 4: Honorific Speech (尊敬語 - Sonkeigo)

Putting Others on a Pedestal

Sonkeigo is like building a little throne for the person you’re talking to. You make their actions sound grander and more important!

The Magic Formula

Take a verb → Make it honorific → The listener feels respected

Two Main Patterns

Pattern 1: お + verb stem + になる

読む (yomu) → お読みになる (o-yomi ni naru)
"to read" → "to read" (honorific)

Pattern 2: Special honorific verbs

Real Examples

Normal polite:

社長は何を食べますか？ (Shachō wa nani o tabemasu ka?) “What will the president eat?”

Honorific (Sonkeigo):

社長は何を召し上がりますか？ (Shachō wa nani o meshiagarimasu ka?) “What will the president eat?” (respectful)

💡 Key Insight: Sonkeigo makes the other person’s actions sound more important. Never use it for yourself!

📖 Part 5: Humble Speech (謙譲語 - Kenjougo)

Bowing with Your Words

Kenjougo is the opposite of Sonkeigo. Instead of lifting others up, you lower yourself—like bowing really deeply with your words!

The Logic

graph TD
    A["Speaking About"] --> B{Whose action?}
    B -->|Their action| C["Use Sonkeigo<br>Lift them UP ⬆️"]
    B -->|Your action| D["Use Kenjougo<br>Lower yourself ⬇️"]

Humble Verb Patterns

Pattern 1: お + verb stem + する

持つ (motsu) → お持ちする (o-mochi suru)
"to carry" → "to humbly carry (for you)"

Pattern 2: Special humble verbs

Before & After Examples

Normal:

私が説明します。 (Watashi ga setsumei shimasu.) “I will explain.”

Humble (Kenjougo):

私がご説明いたします。 (Watashi ga go-setsumei itashimasu.) “I will humbly explain.” (to you, respected person)

Normal:

田中さんに会いました。 (Tanaka-san ni aimashita.) “I met Mr. Tanaka.”

Humble:

田中様にお目にかかりました。 (Tanaka-sama ni o-me ni kakarimashita.) “I had the honor of meeting Mr. Tanaka.”

🎯 Putting It All Together

The Complete Picture

graph TD
    A["Japanese Politeness System"] --> B["丁寧語<br>Teineigo"]
    A --> C["尊敬語<br>Sonkeigo"]
    A --> D["謙譲語<br>Kenjougo"]
    B --> E["Basic politeness<br>です・ます"]
    C --> F["Elevate OTHERS<br>Their actions"]
    D --> G["Lower YOURSELF<br>Your actions"]
    E --> H["Safe default!"]
    F --> I["Use for superiors"]
    G --> J["Use about yourself"]

Quick Decision Guide

The Restaurant Test

Customer (you) to waiter:

• Use: Teineigo (basic polite)
• “コーヒーをください” (Kōhī o kudasai)

Waiter to customer (you):

• Uses: Keigo (honorific/humble mix)
• “コーヒーでございますね” (Kōhī de gozaimasu ne)

🌟 Your Journey Forward

You’ve just learned the heart of Japanese communication! Remember:

1. Start with Teineigo - It’s your safe home base
2. Use casual with friends - But be careful about context!
3. Sonkeigo lifts others - Use for superiors and customers
4. Kenjougo lowers you - Show humility in formal situations

🎭 Final Wisdom: Japanese politeness isn’t about rigid rules—it’s about showing respect and consideration for others through your words. When you master keigo, you’re not just speaking Japanese; you’re speaking the language of respect!

Practice makes perfect. Start small, listen carefully, and soon these speech levels will feel as natural as choosing what to wear each day!

Now you hold the keys to the secret language of respect. Use them wisely, and doors will open wherever you go in Japan! 🗝️🇯🇵